Coming Soon 🌈

From the time I was very little, I understood that there were some expectations around who I was supposed to be that I had to focus on achieving in order to be loved and accepted. The messaging little me understood from the world around her was that she was inadequate and really deeply flawed, and in that, I grew up with a sense of defeat and of just having to accept my circumstances and having to move on, while playing “my part". I started molding myself, allowing myself to become conditioned, by all of the things my mind "understood" as good and right, even when it didn’t feel right in my body..

I WALKED AROUND LIKE A HOT MESS FOR 30+ YEARS IGNORING THE FEELING THAT SOMETHING WAS NOT RIGHT, PLAYING (what I thought was) “MY PART" AND NUMBING MYSELF AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE ALONG THE WAY BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT’S HOW IT'S DONE.

I HAVE EXPERIENCED ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER, I CAN REMEMBER BITING MY NAILS AS EARLY AS 4-5 YEARS OLD. AND EVEN THOUGH THINGS DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT, BEING IN MY AUTOPILOT WAS ALL I KNEW, AND IT WASN’T UNTIL MY PAIN AND DISCOMFORT WITH MY OVERALL EXISTENCE GOT REEEALLY BAD THAT I STARTED TO SEEK ANSWERS AND CONSEQUENTLY, NEW WAYS OF LIVING AND BEING ON THIS ROCK THAT GO BEYOND THE SURVIVING I KNEW UP UNTIL THAT POINT